Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Potty Mouth Book

It's coming down to the wire and my book will be published very shortly. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! You are going to be able to find the softcover version and the e-book version at Amazon, at Barnes & Noble and at your local bookstores. I am, at last, a published author and I have gone from a place of deep depression and thoughts of suicide to actually writing and publishing a book. Hallelujah! Go to the website below and see what the cover will look like. You can also find out information about me and about the book.
Thank you, Renae Clare

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My Book! Potty Mouth!

Today is a very exciting day for me because my book Potty Mouth has finally been sent to the printer. Oh happy day! I have been fretting for over a month trying to figure out how I was going to set up a website for my book. And then something happened out of the blue that finally gave me an answer. I was reading Ann
Pietrangelo's wonderful and very inspiring book  No More Secs and I came to one of the very last pages when she mentioned the website Web Camp One which, as it turns out is owned by Ann and her husband Jim. Having just read the book, I already felt comfortable in talking to them and besides I wanted to support them since Ann is a fellow MS writer. They had me hooked at MS.

After speaking to Jim I hired him and it was a great decision because not only did he do a great job on my website, he is experienced, honest, professional, and trustworthy.Here is a link to Jim's business Web Camp One:
and here is a link to Ann Pietrangelo's website

Ann and Jim are of great couple and they've been through a lot together. They have my utmost respect and thanks.
check out my new website !!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Bitch with a Gllitch in the Ditch

I don't know what is happening to me lately; perhaps I'm just getting older or maybe it's the goddamn MS but my mind is not working properly  and my thoughts get stuck in the ditch. I tend to think it is multiple sclerosis because this disease is a bitch and now this bitch is in the . I am laughing here because my voice recognition program wrote in kitchen instead of ditch. So the bitch is in the kitchen! I don't know why I find that so funny since I no longer do any cooking and I used to be a damn good cook.

One of the worst things about MS is not being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. And then when your mind gets stubborn on top of it all, that is when I have to just give it up to a higher power. Because sometimes I just can't take it anymore and all I want to do is just lay down and take a nap. What a waste of a perfectly good day.

My brain has set another booby-trap and I am trying to wend my way around it. I figure if I write long enough something half way decent will come out. Well, I am still writing and I'm still wending. The good thing is that I hired a website designer and so I am finally getting that done. Hallelujah! I have spent so much time and agony on trying to do it for myself and I am a complete computer ditz. I have a dear friend who is a computer expert but not on the designing end. He teases me often about being a  “stupid end-user”. I remind him that that's how he makes his living and he reminds me that he fixes my computer glitches for free.

If I could get all of my glitches repaired by myself life would flow a lot easier. But that's not what happens to those of us with MS. Just another bitch with a glitch in the ditch.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Location! Location! Location!

Inspired by Pork

When I was first diagnosed with MS 40 years ago, I started to read everything I could on this goddam topic including nutritional advice.What I read made sense to me and I slowly started to cut down on red meat until finally after about six months I gave it up totally. and could longer stand the taste nor the smell.I still cooked meat for my family and never made that choice for them. Both of my children are carnivores. No, they don't actually hunt and eat live prey but they will order it in a restaurant.

 I just  received an e-mail from How or why they got my e-mail address is beyond me because I have not eaten red meat, meaning that pork or beef in 35 years. Perhaps their intent is to inspire an actual pig but I doubt it since pigs are not quite as smart as most people. Although I know a few that are right on the edge. Mostly men.
My daughter does have a bit of a pork belly so maybe the e-mail was intended for her. I'll have to forward it on. Or maybe not. I really don't want to smell a big ham in the oven. Although for some unknown reason I still love the smell of bacon. Could be the MS. Anyway porkbeinspired inspired me to write this meaty piece.MS causes rampant rambling and this is one of those times. So be it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Just For Today

Dear Abby runs  the "Just For Today" poem each New Year's Day. She borrows/adapts from the Al-Anon poem and slightly changes the words each year. Here is a link to the 2011 edition, full text of a past edition is below:

This is a wonderful way to live life and a wonderful reminder to post where we will see it every day. I am keeping mine framed and on my desk.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be aggreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully - if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

Dalai Lama Words of Wisdom

If we can manage to refrain from harming others in our everyday actions and words, we can start to give more serious attention to actively doing good, and this can be a source of great joy and inner confidence. We can benefit others through our actions by being warm and generous toward them, by being charitable, and by helping those in need.

All my best,
 Renae Clare

Monday, March 19, 2012

MS And the Potty Mouth Woman

I'm looking for a place where I belong in this world. I have written a book. I sent it off to an editor. I found the book cover expert and am waiting to hear from her. I'm reading and looking online how to blog, how to submit articles, how to write a newsletter, and how to post on social networks and doing it all in order to find my self worth i and my self respect which I've lost along the way. It's lonely and it sucks. 

I get up every morning and it seems as though I'm climbing a hill. One dusty hill after another so that some days it all feels as if I'm climbing a mountain and I will never get to the goal which is to live a joyful, pain-free, productive life. Simple.  I don't want for much; companionship, a comfortable bed, a good book to read and I am basically happy. Every day however, has so many obstacles, so many hurdles to jump over, so many steps to take for each and every move so that by the middle of the day I am exhausted and need to lay down. I just want to keep on going, to continue on with the day and not wait for anybody else to come to my rescue. To get me up or to put me down. Those days are gone but not forgotten

I have my home health aide here every day to help me keep the house clean and to make sure I can get in and out of bed and get something to eat but it's not enough to keep me alive. Really alive. I miss who I used to be or rather I have mislaid her and she is on sabbatical and incognito. I am antsy and am constantly looking for something to keep me busy so that I feel as though I have accomplished something during the course of a day.

Sad and gloomy arenot words I would use to describe myself. I am usually upbeat and optimistic although once in a while I am teary, weary and worn. Today is one of those days and I don't want to waste time not being present. If I look at everything as it is right here and now I am fine; I am busy, and working, and when my mind is active I am not even thinking about the things that are bothering me. The aches and pains and the depression are diminished for the moment and I am more than an MS patient. I am Renae Clare, a funny, active woman/writer.  

Perhaps it's the dust in my brain as I go along in life  with a wheelchair but at times my brain just seems to stop and just can't roll on any further . I need a good shove, a push or perhaps a yank to get me unstuck and rolling again. I don't want my brain matter to turn into pudding and so I keep on reading and studying and learning how to market Multiple Sclerosis and the Potty Mouthed Woman.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Tribute to Dolly Parton

My mother had multiple sclerosis ever since she was a teenager. Her life was not an easy one and towards the end she spent a lot of time in the hospital. everyone knew her and everyone loved her. She was really a very reserved and private person and  in spite of her illness she rarely complained and was very funny. She died 15 years ago at the age of 66 from cancer and I as her daughter, am very much like her.I also have had MS for the last 40 years,I try not to complain too much and my sense of humor carries me through many obstacles. Here is just one story about my mom, in her honor, and I am sure that she is laughing with us. It is a tragic story and at the same time it touches your heart.

There was one time when my mom had a grand mall seizure lasting over a half an hour and when she finally came out of that seizure she thought she was Dolly Parton! She was singing Dolly Parton songs and speaking in a Dolly Parton voice and flaunting her Dolly Parton cleavage. During those moments she made everyone so happy because it was so unexpected and so not like her and because it came out of nowhere.  It was just really an honor to be a witness at my mother's debut. All of the staff came in to see her and interact with her and she even signed a few autographs. Later on, when she was told what she had been doing she was mortified and felt she had made a fool of herself  but I think in those moments she really found herself, she found herself completely uninhibited and totally joyful and making everyone around her delight in her presence.

 Unfortunately that part of my mom that was  Dolly Parton was never seen again but in that short amount of time she gave a rare performance for all of her fans and my mom was the biggest Dolly fan of all.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Poor Old Bugger

My daughter works at a daycare facility for dogs on Saturdays. She loves it and I guess it’s a way to escape and so even shoveling up dog shit and hosing down pee everywhere has it's reward as a stress reliever. More power to her. She is definitely a dog lover. Today she came home and told me about one particular dog; a very large, very old, very obese English bulldog with terrible eyesight who seemed really starved for affection. And so Vanessa fell in love with him… but only for little while because it seems that is soon as she started to pet him and give him affection he found the need to hump her. And not only that but he followed her wherever she went all day long struggling to keep up with her so he could keep humping. To add insult to injury he did it only to her. Not to the other dogs. Not to the other caretakers.

I asked her if she told the owners of the dog about his very rude behavior but she said that she hadn't even seen them. It seems they just dropped the poor old bugger off as quickly as they could and got the hell out of there. It seems  even his extended family couldn't take the humping anymore. And really, who could blame them?